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SID KIPPER "Like A Rhinestone Ploughboy" LERCD2115

"Give these a seein' to", says the editor, on his way out "after you've unblocked the bogs". Slidin' a box of stuff in the lav. door with his foot, he went on "and if you find my glasses, put them in the bag with my sandwiches".

Well the stuff in the box was all these folk music tapes and things. Apparently farmers, and the like, have twigged that playin' this stuff to their livestock calms the animals down durin' times of stress like when bein' milked or havin' visits from the vet. Now I can't talk for farm animals, (though I can do a hen layin' an egg, and my mooin' ain't too bad either) but these tapes certainly had a calmin' effect on me, and since the boss was out, I stayed at my desk and went completely calm for about the next two hours (till just past openin' time in fact).

Well, I'd played all the tapes on the dictaphone machine and was just left with this Kid Nipper disc thing, which the barmaid at the Dog & Basket thought was a posh beer mat. Trying it out like this, we both liked the way the light sort of sparkled around when different kinds of drinks were sat on it and found that cider, lager and white wine all worked well and so did the whiskies, but none of the darker, cask conditioned ales or beers (no matter how many we tried) would work very well. But by this time I had a sparkle in both eyes anyhow and was past carin'.

The next day was a Saturday and "though not a workin' day for me" I was keen to get this reviewin' lark finished before Monday, so decided to go out and get Kid Nipper played. Right let's start at the top. What's it called again - "Like A Nine Stone Ploughboy". No thanks mate but I wouldn't mind the nine stone barmaid from the Dog & Basket (anyway from the look of Kid Nipper's photo he's more like a thirteen and a half stone, either that or he's only four foot seven soakin' wet). Accordin' to the bit of paper with it, Kid Nipper was helped in the recording studio (likely needed helpin' back out again as well) by Lidia Hearin' and the Crocodiles and, since he is aimin' this at the upmarket country set, hopefully he will have a big hit. There is a lot of songs here with animals in them, like "The Innocent Dodo" (I thought they were all as dead as a duck), "The Twenty Pound Frog" (he's spawned a winner here even though the tune jumps all over the place), and "Gobblers In The Garden" (our "Recipe of the Month" and cookery columnist, who doubles as the poisons and pest control expert, could give him somethin' to get rid of them for good). Country sports and pleasures get touched by Kid Nipper in "The Bodyline Collapso", "The Stack of Domies", "The Song of the F.U." and of course "The Stick of Rhubarb".

And that's all I got to hear of it 'cause the man in the Electricity Board shop wouldn't let me play any more when he found out I wasn't buyin' anythin' and just passin' time while waitin' in the queue to pay my "'lectric" bill. Back at the Dog & Basket the barmaid thought it a good idea to hang my "posh beer" mat on a nail beside the tankards, belongin' to the flower arrangers' mixed morris side. Says she'll keep it out of harm's way, and I can have it anytime just for the askin'. Anyhow if Kid Nipper ever did a livid appearance near me I'd go and see him, personally. Why don't you? After all he's likely got more recordin's of him, on him.

This review was left by the previous occupants of our suite of offices who were the publishers of "Practical Overcast Haymaking" incorporating "The Muck Raker & Spreader Gazette" and "What Bailing String Magazine".

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This album was reviewed in Issue 4 of The Living Tradition magazine.